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    • Trekkie Monster

      Check all advice with your medical team! Plus, quoting medical sources (HON code requirement)   08/25/2015

      Here at Ostomyland we are a patient run community - meaning we have learnt what we know as a result of being the patient and 99% of our members have got no medical qualifications whatsoever, and so any support replies are usually based on personal experience or friends/family-members personal experience. As a result Ostomyland strongly recommend that all members should check the accuracy of any support/health advice they have been given here with a member of their own medical team (GP, ET/Stoma Nurse/ Surgeon etc) BEFORE acting on it. This is for your own safety, as all our bodies are very different, and what works for one might not for the other, and for another it might even be dangerous! Ostomyland is not responsible for the content of the posts made, each member is responsible for their own posts. So if you ever did get any duff advice (unlikely, but could happen one day....) then blame the person who posted the message, and not Ostomyland. We are proud to be HON code certified and work very hard to meet the requirements of their principles. As such, and as requested under principle 4 of the HON code guidelines we must ask that members of the forums please quote sources for any medical information they give which is not based on personal experience.   Thanks.
Ricky maska III

I feel unwanted

12 posts in this topic

Oh I'm sure this is a double post as I have replied a few minutes ago.

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I feel this way a lot.  I have let my best friends know why I stick pretty close to home or check for restroom facilities before going out anywhere.  I guess I feel more restricted than unwanted although I have ceased to think I could begin a personal relationship because of my ostomy.  I try to read about this (why I just joined this group) & find that knowledge is, indeed power.  I am just now learning about and experimenting with different products.  I also see a therapist occasionally which helps.  I hope you have a close friend you can talk to about feeling unwanted.  Remember, most people we deal with don't even know we have an ostomy and I like that.  It's like having my own little secret.   Best to you

Darcie Salvagni likes this

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I must post to this as I am sitting in a motel room from trapping myself in my home since my first surgery 9 months ago. I thought how embarrassing it would be to be out and my stoma to start making noises. Or my bag be full and not be able to find a place private enough to dump it. If I would have continued to trap myself and hide I would have missed seeing my beautiful daughter get married yesterday. I had to travel over 2000 miles in a car because I don't fly. It really wasn't all that bad. As a matter of fact I needed to stop less then everyone else. As for the bag dumps...the handicapped stalls have taller longer seats. If you sit all the way on the back and carefully open your bag you can dump pretty easily. As for the stink!!!! OMG!!!! we've all smelled worse. I only got nervous once when the bathroom was very busy and the next stall that opened wasn't handicapped but I made it work! DONT MAKE YOUR BAG KEEP YOU HOME! INSTEAD LET IT CLEAR THE WAY!!! That's how my son put it and it made me laugh!

Nima54 likes this

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Sad to say, as of now, Ricky maska III's last visit to this site was November 30, 2015.  Maybe, in this case, misery doesn't appreciate company all that much...

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I'm 39 and was forced to have an ileostomy at age 20. I feel worthless and unwanted at times too but I've found being open an honest is key. I've had guys stop talking to me because of my ostomy. Yet I've had more that didn't mind an excepted it. There's no way to reverse the surgery an rehook me. They removed my rectum and anus as well so I'm stuck with Barbie Butt lol I just take it day by day and try to stay positive.

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Sorry to hear this Tina. In many ways life isn't fair, that's for sure. As you have managed to get through it for 19 years I congratulate you. Not that you have any choice in that either. I can only suggest to use it to your advantage and educate. That's what I'm going to do, I hope!

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Hello,

I just joined!  I'm really struggling with this and fears of going out, all the things people struggle with!

i just feel so ugly and gross!  I've come a long way, but have a long way to go!  I'm glad I found the group!

JueBug23 likes this

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its a big worry for us all at the start, but it does get easier and there is a great bunch on here to offer support.

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Hello to all the new members! Welcome to O'land!!!

Andy is right, the beginning is the toughest and it does take some learning and the right equipment but one day you will look back and not be as hard on yourself. We didn't make it this far to give up and yes, it can be very frustrating but you just have to keep reading the wonderful information on the forum and keep trying to find what works for you. Yes, keep asking questions and speaking out about what you feel you need to know.

Remember, it's just a bag, we are still the same person we were before this appliance became our normal. About seven years passed for me before I even found this sight and I have learned much from the information others have shared. You can learn more about different products by going to the manufacturers website and sign up for samples that they will gladly send you.

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Hi,  I am new to a colostomy --just 5 weeks and have issues with my body, noise, will people know?  But my twin daughters [11] let me know that it is important what is on the inside, not on the outside and that helps A LOT!  Also one of my post-surgical nurses filled me in on the respect she had for ostomies because she would have lost her mother over 20 years ago if her mother hadn't had the surgery.  I have remind myself that my colostomy saved my life, and that's priceless.  

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