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To new beginnings!

Scarlet Moon


Looking back at 2013. . . wow was it a doozy!! We had a lot going on with our family and I had quite a year from July to now. I had been busy as the summer began with landscaping and then in the blink of an eye, it all exploded! In May my BFF's dad had really started to take a turn for the worse and the week before Father's day, he was back in the hospital and it was touch and go for awhile. I just kept praying that he didn't pass that weekend. He didn't and while I heard he was doing better, what I didn't hear was when they planned to let him go home. It was always contingent on something or another so I had suspected he was either sicker than she could accept. Days turned into weeks and in mid July he passed. I had been busy doing heavy lifting outside and was not feeling well for awhile but assumed it was stress related and really didn't think much of it.

That week in July was awful. The day after my friend's dad passed was my niece's birthday. And while there was excitement that she turned the big 10, it was also a difficult day as Lady, my beloved cockatiel had a stroke. I knew at that moment that he would be leaving me, but my family was not ready for it. We took him to the emergency vet and he had perked up a bit so I was advised to watch him and see. The next day he didn't eat and then he suffered a second stroke that night. The following morning, on Thursday the 18th my sister and I took him to the vet for the final time. It still breaks my heart to think about it. I had spent the night of the 17th with him on my chest, snuggled up in his favorite robe and said goodbye. He was with me for 24 years and I really wished I could have held him as he passed. Due to how they would have to put him to sleep, it was not possible. They usually gas birds for surgery so they gave Lady gas to put him to sleep then gave him an injection to stop his heart once he was sleeping under the gas. Taking him out so I could hold him would risk waking him up and could cause him pain in those final moments, so vets do not allow it.

While it was awful and heartbreaking to have to take that final vet visit, in my heart I know it's what he wanted and that it was the right thing to do. He kept looking at me like "Why aren't you helping me?" And there was nothing I could do. He couldn't stand after the second stroke and all I could do was to give him peace. I loved him too much to let him linger or to face a cruel drawn out death.

I came home from the vet and put myself together because my friend needed me. Her dad died. I won't deny my heartbreak but this was her dad. When I walked into the viewing room, she ran up to me and nestled into the crook of my neck and finally let go. As we sat on the couch and her hot tears fell onto my skin, I knew I was where I belonged. I had not planned to tell her about Lady until after the funeral but her fiancé asked about the feathered kids and once more tears fell. I know she was upset that I did not tell her, but I also know that she understood and would have done the same for me.

I think on that day we both cried for ourselves, eachother, and then to just cry to cry. The following day I went to the funeral, wake and on the way home I saw puddles of water on the road. I walked in the door after a very long day. .and long week. . low and behold. . no power. I just sat on the couch and cried. It was unbelievable bad luck but I was grateful that the storm had not taken down another tree.

The following few days I worked on prepping my yard for a delivery of glass mulch. I was schlepping dirt and doing hard physical work. It was therapeutic and kept my mind off of the past week. It was no surprise I was sore and tired--after all I had a week from hell and was grieving. I came in hurting and just exhausted. I had moved about 400lbs of dirt that day so I really thought I needed a hot shower and to lay down for a bit. I was watching a movie and all of the sudden I started to shiver. I knew that that meant but I was too cold to move so once the rigors stopped, I forced myself to take my temp and it was over 102. I took a few aspirin, called my mom and sister. Told them I had a fever but it was 9pm. I'm taking Tylenol and will go to the ER in the morning. No point in going at this hour when I know I'll be admitted and they won't have a room anyway. It was a great plan until I sweat through several shirts and my fever spiked almost 2 degrees within an hour. Not surprisingly, I quickly changed my mind and went to the ER knowing I was once again septic.

After a week of tests and cultures etc, everything came back negative but I was still fighting a fever. It would break but still hover around 99. I was sent home. I was anxious to go home as my glass mulch had been delivered and I was anxious to finish my project. I went back to life as normal as possible and I got a phone call telling me to call the floor doctor. I was unable to contact him as was my family doctor. when I went in for my follow up with my GI I told him I still had this lingering fever and that the hospital called and said something finally turned up on the culture but the floor doctor told me he could not disclose what that was. Honestly, I tried to pull it from him. My GI sent me to ID. Got me in the next day I think. I saw the same doc I had seen in the hospital for ID. She flipped through the chart and was furious that they did not call her to tell her that the cultures were positive and not only were they positive, they were positive for acinteobacter. I think I might have spelled that wrong. . .but it's not a concern. What WAS a major concern was that I was very sick. Once more I was sent to the ER. This time with a note saying I was positive for acinteobacter and that I was to be place in quarantine. I spent another week in the hospital. This time they removed the port and we did the whole 9 yards again. I was one sick gal.

When I came home, I had a message from Facebook from someone I dated years ago. I don't use facebook so I was really surprised to see this contact but I really had no reason to avoid it. I responded after a few days of thinking about it--I flat out asked him what he wanted. Turns out he's in the middle of a divorce and he wanted to start to get to know eachother again. Chris and I dated over 20 years ago and the last time I saw him, he and his wife were having difficulties. They were separated but had kids so they worked it out for the boys. Since then, they added a daughter to their family and a lot of resentment. He has full custody of the kids and we have been dating since September. The divorce will be finalized in a few weeks and for now we're taking it slow. There's a long way to go before meeting the kids or remeeting the family. . .. If you asked me 22 years ago I would have laughed at the thought of us being more than we were. But now it just feels normal and right when we're together. Like we've been together 22 years. Very odd and welcome. I'm anxious to see where the new year will take us but am enjoying the ride.

I also found out that there was still an energy credit for windows for 2013. Extended through 2013, actually. I had planned to replace the windows this spring but things fell into place and that is happening now. I had my patio door and entry door replaced yesterday. The new windows come next week. I'm really excited for those to come in. My windows are the original 40 year old windows. They're all being replaced with highly energy efficient windows. The house will have a completely different look with the casements verses the single hung and sliding windows. And be warmer. A lot warmer.

Grandma just went back to Florida yesterday. I won't go into that cuz it's a very long story. It's been a very busy year.

As I bid 2013 adieu, I raise a toast to the new year and look forward to a year of new beginnings. Happy healthy new year to all.

Alice, mellen and laurence like this


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